Anybody watching? I can't believe they actually got all 7 to do it! It's great, although they're still trying to stir the race pot. Not sure why they can't just catch up and not get into all the drama.
Joao and I are becoming closer just by bashing Brooke's new boyfriend -Colin Macy-O'Toole Below Deck Med
I’ve been watching! It definitely feels like the producers are forcing “real” discussions onto them. I personally feel like it would be more enjoyable just seeing them have light chats and fun activities.
Also, I feel like all the stuff with Kevin and Becky is confusing to some extent, mostly because of forced/strange editing. I can’t follow what either is saying because their conversation is chopped up into 3-5 words, then a dramatic camera angle change, then a few more words. I know that’s how reality tv is done nowadays, but it’s just so hard to follow.
I found myself turning passionate over Kevin's treatment of Becky and the way the others blindly backed anything and everything Kevin said to Becky. It felt to me that the others weren't thinking for themselves but rather bowing to Kevin because they are taken in by the way he speaks rather than what he is saying. Kevin threw out a title of a book, White Fragility claiming every white person must read it as it explains why white people being defensive, like Becky, is a sign of racism. However, both the book and it's author have come under sharp critism and denouncement from both white and black scholars. Calling the book inaccurate and appalling. The book purports(using 'facts' that have long been disproven. Kevin needs to continue to work on himself and the way he approaches certain people. He needs to practice listening skills, the type he demands those who disagree with him use, if he truly is going to make a difference. This concept of his, that only his sorrows and hardships matter because only black suffering is legitimate does not serve to build bridges. People suffer. HE needs to acknowledge this. That yes, the suffering and misery expressed by white people is legitimate . No, we weren't slaves and no, we don't necessarily have to fear society in the same way. But, don't you dare state that people of any color sufferings from poverty, homelessness, domestic violence, mental illness , a baby dying of cancer, lack of access to care that can save someone suffering any number of diseases and on and on are not worth your empathy because the victims are white. The calm voice he uses is patronizing. And while Becky can't finish her thoughts because Kevin interrupts her, he won't let her answer him on the false grounds she's interrupting. Also, Andre is a tool. I can't get into someone whose reaction to the whole situation is essentially "Becky is gone, I don't need to care and have no sympathy. I don't want to talk to her and man, I'm not interested." He said it much more meanly and cutting. He definitley isn't a deep thinker. Norman: Oh Norman! You are throwing away your relationship with Becky, the ONLY close friend from this group-over the past 28 years? THese other people who haven't been your friends in the last 28 years, They are now your real friends? Dude, you were with them for a few days, not 28 years. Becky left more or less because you chose to yell shut up at her. You didn't maybe, stand up for her a bit? No. You became part of the crowd, who to her , felt like an attacking group of bullies. I think hearing you yell at her is like the final straw. That's part of why she left-and there are maybe reasons she can't talk about. Why she can come across a bit clunky. The point is that is your friend for the past 28 years. I'm sure there is a reason you two are close. Stop acting the victim in this situation, because you really are a better guy than that. Eric has changed internally the most and for the better. He listens to hear. Sits with things. THe responds or states his thoughts in a kind, gentle open way. A sweet man with a good heart. I wonder how things might have gone differently if he was in the house. Heathers relationship with her Dad and her describing him as 'her hero'...made me think of my own relationship with my Dad. Having said that, it's back to Kevin/Becky in how Heather reacted to it: Weirdly. I mostly had no clue what she was going on about as she talked about trying to get everyone together to talk. I don't know, 'Julie is chosen by God to do this(meet with Becky), I'm going in and out of the road if need be, but I'm not...I'm removing myself from this but it should be in your hands for us, Julie. Don't put me in this, let me spread a smudge stick of sage in Beckys room(which is a junior high move). ...It was a bad look. Julie is a good person. I certainly wish she'd said something to Kevin about his attitude and tone because hey, he thinks you are a racist, too. You just don't know that because you didn't irritate him with your own opinions. Kevin 'commissioned' Norman to paint something for one of his organizations. Total power move on Kevin's part. Kevin insisting he be the first to speak with Becky. A big 'HMMM, what is Kevin up to' popped into my mind. Because he has her alone, he's away in a room where he can't be heard. And here we go...he derides her over and over with that same calm voice with a few 'thats ridiculous Becky' type laughs thrown in. When she says she doesn't want to be 'the poster girl for white privilege' he won't even acknowledge that or respect it. I feel as if he purposely met with her first so he could push her to the edge again which he knows causes her to leave. Which she did. Then he can take control of the narrative with other houseguests. Here the link to one of the many scholarly critiques slamming the book White Fragility: thelogicalliberal.com/2020/06/13/white-fragility/ and another www.cnn.com/2019/09/22/us/kendi-book-anti-racist-blake/index.html
Yes, redsoxgirl, I totally feel all of what you said! I actually have thought about this whole thing possibly more than it deserves, or maybe not. Maybe it deserves all of the thought because it all comes back to human interactions, as well as friends and their support (or lack thereof). I’ve even googled to see if anyone else is talking about any of this and have only come up with articles about Kevin, saying “Kevin is right. Kevin has always been right.” I can’t even really get what Kevin is even saying most of the time because I can’t see past his condescending, patronizing, close-mindedness. It seems like he feels like everyone else is wrong and he is right about everything. He is so confrontational and then he’s sad and emotional saying “black people are tired of explaining racism to white people.” Maybe (probably) they are, or at least he is. But maybe it doesn’t always have to be about black vs white. Maybe black people don’t need to *always* explain racism. Yes, there are obvious times to call it out. But then maybe we just focus on living as humans, as people. Meet people where they are. More like Eric’s calm, semi-spiritual way. But then that’s what I keep thinking about. Am I totally wrong? Are those thoughts somehow racist? I don’t think they are, but I’m absolutely sure Kevin would say they are. But I don’t think Kevin makes the rules for how everyone should interact. Although I would probably have no desire to talk with Becky about her talking about her endless travels and multiple homes, I feel for her and her saying, look, this isn’t my thing, I’m just a person living my life, and this drama is not anything I want to be a part of. And attacking her for saying she has black friends and went to an African dance class is just such pointless attacking. Why is any of that bad? Her mind is open to different people and cultures. It’s a start, right Kevin? Did they cut/edit out some of that conversation that would make those statements worse? Or maybe they cut context just to rile people up. That’s what I keep coming back to. Am I missing something? It’s all so choppy, it makes me wonder if we *did* miss something.
As for Heather, I think she was just trying to live and have a nice reunion. I did feel for her when she said she was sad they never showed the (positive) relationship with her dad. She’s absolutely right that black girls and their dads are not focused on enough. But when they actually showed the old footage, I was like, yeah, well, they didn’t show this because it was pretty boring, and honestly did not show the bond that she described having with him. I think she’s remembering it slightly differently than it actually happened (the restaurant scene - not her relationship).
ETA: I used to be a regular on the old, original FORT (same username) but then it had to move to this new site, and I got lost in parenting a toddler and couldn’t keep up with it all. After watching this and finding myself thinking about it all so much, I thought it was time to re-engage! 😊
Last Edit: Apr 12, 2021 11:05:22 GMT by aramcobrat